125 Funny Puns 

You’re in your first seminar, and your professor has put you into pairs and asked you to swap “fun facts.” Or maybe you’re in line for coffee, and you recognize someone who’s definitely in your organic chemistry lecture. College is full of these awkward moments of sharing space with people you don’t know well– at least, not at first. Instead of resorting to tired subjects like how much work you both have, why not break the ice and build rapport with some good old punny humor? No matter how cheesy, you’ll likely bring a smile to someone’s face. Below are 125 cherry-picked Funny Puns that you can use to break the ice in any situation.

We’ve divided our 125 Funny Puns into six thematic categories relevant to any college campus:

• Funny Coffee Puns
• Funny Science Puns
• Funny Animal Puns
• Funny Food Puns
• Funny Book Puns
• Funny Random Puns!

Funny Puns about Coffee (for your 8 am class or your all-nighter…)

1. Full steam ahead.
2. Good things come to those who au lait.
3. Look what you made me brew.
4. One small steep for man, one giant steep for mankind.
5. Pardon my French roast.
6. The ends justify the beans.
7. Put on your thinking cappuccino.
8. To bean or not to bean, that is the question.
9. Don’t complain about the coffee, you’ll be old and weak yourself one day.
10. I’m shy but after a cuppa coffee, I can espresso my feelings
11. Stay grounded, my friend
12. Some people lift weights. Personally, I prefer to French press
13. That movie we watched was all froth and no substance.
14. You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What’s sumatra with you?
15. On my way to work my car got a flat white.
16. Being a barista is really difficult, but I feel like I’m giving it my best shot.
17. Better Latte, than never.
18. Afogato to tell you something!
19. Let’s pourover the details of our plan over coffee.
20. Espresso may not solve everything, but it’s a good shot.
21. Why are coffee beans so nosy? They get the latest scoop on everything!
22. Want to hear a joke about coffee? Never mind, it’s a long roast.
23. Coffee makes deadlines seem much less steep
24. Why did the music teacher bring coffee to the concert? Because he wanted to be sharp!

And, for the tea lovers:

1. Matcha gonna do about it? 
2. So little time, so matcha to do.
3. I haven’t tried boba before, but I’ll give it a pearl.
4. Can we all get oolong?
5. Feeling tired enough to go to steep.
6. If at first you don’t succeed, chai, chai again.

Giggle-Worthy Puns about Science (no matter your major)

1. How much room does fungi need in order to grow? As mushroom as possible.
2. Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te.
3. What does a subatomic duck say? Quark.
4. Why do elements make terrible friends? They’re always reacting.
5. What did the helpless T-Cell say when facing the infection? Is there antibody out there?
6. Why can’t you play hide-and-seek with a mountain? Because they always peak.
7. Why are some rocks so easygoing? Because they’re sedimentary.
8. I was boron ready to study chemistry.
9. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.
10. Why don’t chemists like puns? All the best ones argon.
11. Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have anty bodies
12. I was studying frequency in my physics lesson and now my brain hertz
13. What did one charged atom say to the other? I got my ion you
14. I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going on a date and I was like O Mg
15. Where do astronauts leave their spaceships? At parking meteors
16. Why did the bacteria cross the microscope? To get to the other slide
17. How often should you tell a chemistry joke? Periodically
18. Did you hear about the restaurant on Mercury? The lighting was good but it had zero atmosphere
19. Two blood cells met and fell in love. But it was all in vein
20. Organic Chemistry is hard. It creates alkynes of problems.
21. Where do flowers go when they need to recharge after a long day? The power plant.
22. I had a problem with my quantum computer so I turned it off and on at the same time.
23. Our chemistry teacher tried to tell a joke but got no reaction.
24. What did the asteroid say to the reporter? No comet.
25. If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.

See here for 111 Funny Math Jokes!

Hilarious Puns about Animals (for when your peers are missing their pets)

1. What do you say to a Llama that loves picnicking? Alpaca lunch.
2. Why couldn’t the pony sing in the choir? He was a little horse.
3. Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was outstanding in his field.
4. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
5. What did the buffalo say to his son who was leaving for college? Bison.
6. I’m owl about that bass.
7. I’d tell you my bird joke, but it’ll probably fly over your head.
8. That hen keeps counting her eggs—she’s a real math-a-ma-chicken!
9. Cats stop videos by pressing the paws button.
10. I had to take the owl back to the computer store because he kept eating the mouse.
11. You octopi my thoughts all day.
12. You’re koalafied to be my friend.
13. What do bees chew? Bumble gum!
14. What reality show did the goat go on to find love? The Baaaa-chelor.
15. The first book of the fish bible is about the craytion.
16. Don’t be koi with me.
17. What a load abalone.
18. When a problem comes along, you must Whippet.
19. You don’t need to reinvent the whale.
20. What’s a bee’s favorite flower? A bee-gonia.
21. Owl get around to it later.
22. That pun has left me not feline very well. I may need a purramedic.
23. You’ve cat to be kitten me right meow.
24. A boar went to a comedy club and nobody laughed.
25. That conversation was off the shark.

Funny Puns about Food (for when you’re at the dining hall)

1. I’ve started investing in stocks: beef, chicken, and vegetable. Someday, I hope I’ll be a bouillonaire.
2. I’m ramen on empty.
3. You’re all that and dim sum.
4. I hate it when my bay leaves.
5. You’re second to naan.
6. Let that shiitake go.
7. What’s a potato’s favorite day of the week?
   Fry-day.
8. What do you call a fake noodle?
   An impasta.
9. What kind of car does a goat drive?
   Chèvrelet.
10. What’s a philosopher’s favorite food?
    Raisin d’être.
11. Absence makes the heart grow fondue
12. Ricotta get through this! 
13. What sport are eggs best at? Running.
14.  Udon even know me!
15. Now, lettuce turn our attention to….
16. I walnut give up my best puns for no raisin.
17. Ketchup with the rest and Relish in the glory of success.
18. It’s the Worcestershire situation I’ve ever been in.
19. You’re my soy mate!
20.  Never make plans with croissants—they’re flakey!
21. Time fries when I’m with you.
22. You’ve got a peach of my heart.
23. What kind of person doesn’t like pizza? A weirdough.
24. What’s a scarecrow’s favorite fruit? Straw-berries!
25. Why did the lemon go to the doctor? It was feeling sour!

Funny Puns about Books (because well, will you ever be without a book?)

1. I’ve spent all day reading—it was bound to happen.
2. Sorry I can’t hang out. My weekend is fully booked.
3. That book about Mt. Everest had quite the cliff-hanger.
4. What building has the most stories? The library.
5. I haven’t been to the library in a while—how Dewey find the books?
6. How do you track a book? You follow their footnotes.
7. What is the spookiest kind of author? A ghostwriter.
8. Why was the book so good at using Tinder? She had a good opening line.
9. Why do bookworms breakup? Because they are not on the same page.
10. Do you like the book you’re reading? It has prose and cons.
11. Why did the librarian fall down? She was in the non-friction section.
12. Why are books so afraid of their sequels? Because they always come after them!
13. You can write poetry if you want, but I think it’s best left to the prose.
14. Why is a math book always unhappy? It has so many problems.
15. Want to hear a joke about a book? Never mind. It’s tear-rible.
16. Why are books so annoying to be around? They don’t have any shelf awareness.
17. Why do people get jealous when they date a library book? Someone else is always checking them out.
18. I wanted to visit the world’s biggest library but it was overbooked.
19. Are you sure you want to borrow all those books? You don’t want to overdue it.
20.  Why was the encyclopedia removed from the library? He couldn’t control his volume.
21. Witches are the best editors because they always run spell-check.
22.  Why are ghosts always reading? They go through books too quickly.
23. What makes “Civil Disobedience” such a great essay? Thoreau editing.
24. I’ve written a book about falling down a staircase. It’s a step by step guide.
25. Becoming an author is a write of passage.

Random Funny Puns (for any situation!)

1. Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.
2. What did one eye say to the other? Just between you and me, something smells.
3. Why are noses in the middle of your face? They like to be the scenter of attention.
4. Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands.
5. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
6. Singing quietly has never been my forte.
7. I keep trying to start exercising, but it just isn’t working out.
8. What kind of doctor is always on call? An oncologist!
9. Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft? Classical Conditioning!
10. RIP Boiling Water. You will be mist.
11. What do you call an army of babies? Infantry
12. Why was the broom late for school? It overswept!
13.  I wish I could be a doctor, but I don’t have the patients.
14. What does algae do when it’s in trouble? Sea-kelp!
15. Why do we say “break a leg” to actors? Because every play needs a cast!
16. Why did the clock get shushed in the library? It was tocking too loud.
17. How does the ocean floor stay up-to-date on the news? By following current events, of course.
18. What did the flower decide to study in college? STEM.
19. How does a flower whistle? By using its tulips.
20. What’s the highest position an ear of corn can get in the military? Kernel.
21. Why did the carrot make a hair appointment? Its roots were showing.
22. Did you hear about the hardworking lettuce bunch? It was promoted to head of its department!
23. Why did the tomato stay after school? To ketchup on its schoolwork.
24. Why did cauliflower try to cheer up broccoli? It was feeling a little melon-ccoli.
25. What school superlative did the happy beet get? Most up-beet.

As the burrito said to the tortilla, that’s a wrap!